Positive Developments

Today at Church was Fast and Testimony Meeting. And guess what I did? I actually bore my testimony!! Yeah, kind of scary, since I really haven't done that in a while, in front of a bunch of people. But I kind of made a deal with Heavenly Father yesterday, so to speak, that I would fast for a reason. I fasted to know what He wanted me to know about my mission. And for my other end of the bargain, I decided I would get up and bear my testimony. I shared some of what I wrote yesterday in my blog post, on how I have been learning to become more dependent on Heavenly Father and how I've been humbled to show patience and have faith in His plan. Because even though it is hard sometimes, I still can 'fall back on my faith' because, that is my sure foundation. Eventually, I will learn, as I am coming to learn, that I don't need to "fall" back on it, because I will know. I don't know if that makes sense, or really how to write it in words, but it makes sense in my head.
This Song has been sounding around inside my head lately, and it's pretty powerful.

1. 1. How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord,
   Is laid for your faith in his excellent word!
   What more can he say than to you he hath said,
   Who unto the Savior, who unto the Savior,
   Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?
    
2. 2. In ev'ry condition--in sickness, in health,
   In poverty's vale or abounding in wealth,
   At home or abroad, on the land or the sea--
   As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand,
   As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.
    
3. 3. Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
   For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
   I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
   Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
   Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
    
4. 4. When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
   The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow,
   For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
   And sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee,
   And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
    
5. 5. When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
   My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
   The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
   Thy dross to consume, thy dross to consume,
   Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
    
6. 6. E'en down to old age, all my people shall prove
   My sov'reign, eternal, unchangeable love;
   And then, when gray hair shall their temples adorn,
   Like lambs shall they still, like lambs shall they still,
   Like lambs shall they still in my bosom be borne.
    
7. 7. The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
   I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
   That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
   I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never,
   I'll never, no never, no never forsake!
    
   So I guess what I'm saying is, that I won't need to fall back on my faith, because eventually it will become a way of life, as, through my trials, Heavenly Father refines me and I become to know of Him, and not just believe, but have an ACTUAL KNOWLEDGE. 
      
    
   As a side note, I had a good opportunity to talk to a friend of mine today, whom I 'dearly love' (Yes, it's a guy! Haha) I talked to him about what's going on with my Mission papers and things like that, and I felt a bit compelled to tell him everything (almost.) Given the subject matter, however, I was a little worried that he'd see me as this weak, insecure, (and let's be real--psycho passed my mind as well) girl who wasn't ready for a mission or life in general. I know he's not that type of person to judge at all, at least seriously, but it worried me, because we only had a few minutes to talk. Well, later that day, we got another opportunity, and bless his heart, he brought it back up!! Which I was grateful for. I was able to explain it a bit better, and he even gave me some great words of advice. He reiterated what I already believed, which is, "It's all going to work out the way Heavenly Father wants it to. The whole mission-call assignment thing is ordained of God, and He's going to guide it as it should be." 
   So I am very grateful to have good friends that sincerely care about me and also have the ability to give me words of encouragement and advice. .
   
   
   
   
   
   So, now for the positive development: I emailed my Stake President last night after I received the letter from my counselor, to see what really was going on with my papers. Well, once I got home from Church today, I checked my email again, and he had replied. He said, so far the mission office has not contacted him about my call, and they say that they are in progress. He thinks that if nothing else changes, I could be getting my call this week.
   (However, that doesn't mean that my call will come this week, since it needs to say assigned before I actually get it, I think)
   But the point of this is, that my fasting WORKED. I feel at peace. Heavenly Father let me know what He wanted me to know about my Mission, and He even put a good friend in my path to give me added hope. I like this feeling of peace rather than being discouraged ;) So, Now we wait some more. And just let it be! 
   
   
   Much Love,
   Future Sister Holly Howell