It's hard not to get discouraged....

Well, sometimes it's just plain hard. Let me elaborate. Before I turned my papers in, I had my counselor from LDS Family Services write a letter to my Stake President for me explaining the accomplishments we'd made during counseling. Basically stated whether or not he thought I was mentally prepared for the pressures of a mission. I had to go into the Office again to sign a release paper for my Stake President to be able to get it. I did that, and everything looked like it was going according to "my plan" (yes, pattern repeated). But... Turns out, it's still going according to "His Plan." (As it most certainly should be.) It's hard because, this letter didn't get sent to my Stake President...until today...And my papers are already in SLC...So the Mission Office doesn't have the letter...either...which means my call can't be assigned...until later...because I have a little bit of "red in my ledger"... so to speak.
Now I'm not bitter. Sad, yes. Bitter, no. It really is still going according to His Plan, but what gets me discouraged is not understanding His Plan like I wish I could. It still is all about FAITH. But it is hard because...No one in my Family knows...And maybe my master plan (#7 from a few posts down) won't work after all...which would be anticlimactic.
The way I see it, I can't just say, "Oh hey, by the way Family, I'm getting my mission call in a...(first off, I don't know when it's coming...) But it's not really fair to them to keep "lying" to them, especially since it's a really good thing that I'm doing, and an important step in my life.
But here's the thing. Maybe (and most likely. Let's be honest) It didn't matter that I tried to make sure ahead of time that things would go this way (they way they're going) because maybe, Heavenly Father knew, that given the circumstances, the only way that I could go where He needs me to go is by going through this long process of not knowing, and maybe the process of having to go through some more interviews and tests and things like that. That way, I could go where He wants me to go, and Help the people that He needs me to help, At the exact time that He needs me to Help them.
So, It's hard. But, I keep feeling like it's for the best, no matter the outcome. He loves me, and I know that. He wants me to do this, and I have that affirmed every time I read my scriptures at night.

This is definitely something I need to repeat. Over.and Over. and Over again.
Keep Trying. Be Believing. Be HAPPY. Don't Get Discouraged. EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT!!!
President Hinckley is a GREAT Man.

Lots of Love,
Future Sister Holly Howell