On this day of Thanks...

I got to spend the day with my family, extended and immediate. As usual we made too many pies-17 was the number I heard. I didn't count personally. Probably one pie for every person who came! I am not much of a "thanksgiving" food fan, but my aunt made these delicious roles, and I was an instant fan girl. We watched a good movie together and spent time listening to Christmas music.
My list should be longer. And I'm not perfect yet (I know I never will be in this life). No big announcement this week. In fact, things will be further delayed do to this Day of Thanks. I hate to see this cycle repeat itself over and over, and am well aware that I do it to myself. I guess I'm still trying to figure out the lesson I'm supposed to learn from all of this. His plan. My plan. Sometimes I think they are the same, but I don't see it play through and once again I get discouraged.

Church last Sunday was all about submitting our will to His. There was a story of a man who was given the commandment to push on a rock all the days of his life. At the end of his life, he stood discouraged before his Savior.
"Lord, I pushed that rock everyday of my life, and I was never able to move it. Not even an inch. Why Lord? Why did you have me push this rock if you knew I could never move it?"
The Savior looked lovingly at the man, and placed his strong hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "You were not required to move the rock. That is my Job. You were only required to push."

Maybe this is the same for all of us. Having the faith to "push against our rocks every day." Rocks are rough. The are hard. They are heavy to bear. Sometimes they take everything from you, and then some. Satan wants us to think that we have to do it by ourselves. That we can't do it at all. That were not strong enough to do it. That doing it isn't worth it. That it's stupid and not cool to push rocks. But that's because he knows he can wrangle us in by building our pride. By telling us we're failures. By calling us weak. Telling us we shouldn't was our time.

Satan knows our weaknesses. But so does Christ. And Christ can make weak things become strong unto us.
My pride may be getting in the way of this whole learning process. Perhaps I lost sight of the purpose of a mission and became more focused on the Call. Became more concerned with the honors of men more than the glories of God. I've been thinking this last week of opening my call by myself in a sacred, private place, to share the special moment between me and my Heavenly Father. I did have this whole plan set up, but what if that is not what He wants me to do? I've been more focused on what I wanted that perhaps I have missed the Will and wants of my Heavenly Father.

I still don't know. But I hope my call is coming. And I do know my Heavenly Father loves me. In that I can trust, and for that I am thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving,
Future Sister Holly Howell