Ready for ASSIGNMENT!!!

"So your status has changed to "Ready for Assignment."
That is one of the best text messages I have received. No doubt the "Assigned" will still thrill me! Things are actually moving!! And I am so grateful.
I am ashamed to say that only days before this, I was not so grateful. It was last Sunday, and I got another text that said my papers were still in progress. I was frustrated. With myself. With God. Which made me more frustrated with myself! I knew inside that I needed to accept the things that I couldn't control, but I also felt "jipped." I believed (and still do, past tense is for point) in a God who would give good gifts to His children. So why wasn't he now? The whole "ask and ye shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto you" scripture... Fractured thoughts of disappointment mingled with feelings of rejection hacked away at my happy, positive ones. Wasn't wanting to share my mission call with my family a good thing? Hadn't I waited long enough? Hadn't I been patient this whole time, and passed the tests? Shouldn't my papers be passed on through quicker, since they were already at the mission department for 5+ months? Weren't my desires to go on a mission a good thing? Didn't I receive that answer when I first started this journey?
Satan definitely knows his game. But, I know my life. I knew that these feelings of frustration and even doubt were coming from him. And that I had resources at my disposal to get rid of them. I had learned from my past not to dwell on things I couldn't change. It humbled me to ask for help, because my Pride was a factor being played with in Satan's game. But Heavenly Father's tool of Humility scored more points, strengthening my testimony. I asked my Earthly father for a blessing. I wanted to feel peace. I wanted my frustrations to dissolve away into clarity, and to know my true feelings rather than these fake-baked ideas that held no true basis in my mind anyways. I got to witness my father feeling the inspiration of the spirit at that time as he laid his hands upon my head. It was a long blessing, but he was guided to know what to say, and words he said helped me strengthen my connection to both my Heavenly and Earthly fathers. It was a truly tender mercy.
Heavenly Father then continued to humble me, as I learned the next day that my oldest brother and his family were going to be there for Thanksgiving. Remember "The Master Plan" and #7 from the 2 real post I wrote on this blog? How I wanted to introduce my family to that "Special Someone" who in reality was me, as a sister missionary? Well, I thought my plans were foiled. I wouldn't be able to tell them, and this whole time, most of them think that I am dating/engaged to one of my friends. I felt awful if they wouldn't have been able to be a part of that reveal. Mostly my guilty conscience for making them worry about me. But their Thanksgiving plans fell through. While that is sad for them in some regards, I know Heavenly Father had a hand in it. He does give good gifts to His children and He cares about me.  He loves me.
And what a great week to receive a mission call??? At ward prayer in my singles ward, we were challenged to pray a prayer of thanks each time we prayed. Another humbling experience and it really helped out in relieving my frustrations. It helped me so much to focus on the things that I did have, rather than the things I didn't. And even then, I was grateful for the things I didn't have! I have learned that with each thing that we don't have, we are actually gaining so much more than we are lacking. I am thankful for those moments that try my testimony and that give me the opportunities to learn how to strengthen them. I am thankful for mistakes so that I may learn how not to make them again. To improve and do better the next time. I am thankful for the Atonement, that I can use it constantly, and that Jesus loves me enough to go through my trials with me.

So, I feel "Ready for Assignment!" Just as I have for the past few months now. It is all in His timing. I guess His timing is right about now. I think that I am okay with that ;)

Ready to be assigned,
Future Sister Holly Howell

P.S. This just got Real! ;)