People ask me, how I'm doing now with depression. I ask myself that as well. But if I think back to every trial and shortcoming and discouragement and moments of darkness I've experienced in my life, and I realize that the answer is: I am doing. I endure. I see these trials in my life they way they are supposed to be seen--as blessings, as opportunities to grow and to learn and to progress. Not as punishments. Not as some karmic stack of bad actions made in another life. Heavenly Father loves me. He knows what I can and can't handle. All He asks is that I have faith in Him. Have the faith to endure through what ever trial He sends lovingly my way. He knows my Strength, and He also knows what makes me Stronger. My weaknesses are only manifestations of my potential strength and power. I am able to recognize them, work on them, and grow from them.
How am I handling this last set back? Honestly, not as well as I should. But, the key is that I know. That I recognize this, again, as a trial. That I recognize the weakness, and I chose to grow and overcome and strengthen this weakness. For whatever reason, there is always something to learn from each moment, a piece of me to uncover, over and over again if needs be, until in shines sparkling clean in the well worn hands of the Maker.
"Blessings"
We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise
Love,
Future Sister Holly Howell
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